Thoughts are mental cognitions—our ideas, opinions, and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. They include the perspectives we bring to any situation or experience, which color our point of view (for better, worse, or neutral). An example of a long-lived thought is an attitude, which develops as thoughts are repeated over and over and reinforced. While thoughts are shaped by life experiences, genetics, and education, they are generally under conscious control. In other words, if you are aware of your thoughts and attitudes, you can choose to change them.
It may be useful to think of emotions as the flow and experience of feelings. These can include (but are not limited to) joy, sadness, anger, or fear and can be triggered by something external (from seeing a friend suffer to watching a movie) or something internal (an upsetting memory). While emotions are universal, each person may experience them and respond to them in a different way. Some people may struggle with understanding what emotion they are experiencing.
Emotions can also be influenced by other factors:
"People the world over have different ideas, beliefs, and opinions—different thoughts—but they have very similar, if not identical, feelings."
Changing thoughts and emotions
We tend to believe that emotions are just "part of us" and can’t be changed. Research, however, has established that emotions are malleable. They can be changed by altering an external situation (divorcing an abusive spouse), shifting our attention (choosing to focus on a more positive aspect of a situation), and by re-appraising a situation (the upcoming test is an opportunity for learning, not an assessment of my personal worth).
How we choose to live our lives has tremendous power over the way we feel every day. Certain types of mental training, such as meditation, or positive thinking, can affect our perceptions of the world and make us feel calmer, more resilient, and happier. Other researchers have identified many other helpful attitudes—such as forgiveness, gratitude, and kindness—that can be cultivated with practice.
Negativity and physical health
Chronic stress from negative attitudes and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can upset the body's hormone balance and deplete the brain chemicals required for feelings of happiness, as well as have a damaging impact on the immune system. New scientific understandings have also identified the process by which chronic stress can actually decrease our lifespan by shortening our telomeres (the "end caps" of our DNA strands, which play a big role in aging).
Poorly managed or repressed anger (hostility) is also related to a slew of health conditions, such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, digestive disorders, and infection.
Emotions that are freely experienced and expressed without judgment or attachment tend to flow fluidly. On the other hand, repressed emotions (especially fearful or negative ones) can zap mental energy and hope and lead to health problems, such as high blood pressure or digestive disorders.
Therefore, it's important for us to recognize and identify our thoughts and emotions, and to be aware of the impact they have—not only on each other, but also on our bodies, behavior, and relationships. As our awareness increases, we find it easier to recognize what we are thinking, how we are feeling, and our attitude towards the experience. We can then choose to adjust our thoughts and emotional responses.
The importance of positivity
Positive emotions have two important effects: they broaden our perspective of the world (thus inspiring more creativity, wonder, and options), and they build up over time, creating lasting emotional resilience and flourishing.
However, in our wish to defend against threat and loss in life, we tend to prioritize bad over good. While this is a tidy survival mechanism for someone who needs to stay hyper vigilant in a dangerous environment, the truth is that for most of us, this "negativity bias" means that we spend time ruminating over the minor frustrations we experience—bad traffic, a disagreement with a loved one—and ignoring the many chances we have to experience wonder, awe, and gratitude throughout the day.
Fredrickson has calculated that in order to offset the negativity bias and experience a harmonious emotional state, we need to experience three positive emotions for every negative one. This, she claims, can be done intentionally for those of us less "wired" to positivity. These positive emotions literally reverse the physical effects of negativity and build up psychological resources that contribute to a flourishing life.
Forgiveness
The attitude of forgiveness—fully accepting that a negative circumstance has occurred and relinquishing negative feelings surrounding the event—can be learned and can lead us to experience better mental, emotional and physical health. The Stanford Forgiveness Project trained 260 adults in forgiveness in a 6-week course.
13% experienced reduced anger
27% experienced fewer physical complaints (for example, pain, dizziness, etc.)
The practice of forgiveness has also been linked to better immune function and a longer lifespan. Other studies have shown that forgiveness has more than just a metaphorical effect on the heart: it can actually lower our blood pressure and improve cardiovascular health as well.
Gratitude
Acknowledging the good aspects of life and giving thanks have a powerful impact on emotional wellbeing. In a landmark study, people who were asked to count their blessings felt happier, exercised more, had fewer physical complaints, and slept better than those who created lists of hassles.
Brené Brown has found that there is a relationship between joy and gratitude, but with a surprising twist: it’s not joy that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us joyful.
Emotional resilience
Dr. Andrew Weil describes resilience as being like a rubber band—no matter how far a resilient person is stretched or pulled by negative emotions, he or she has the ability to bounce back to his or her original state. Resilient people are able to experience tough emotions like pain, sorrow, frustration, and grief without falling apart—in fact, some people are able to look at challenging times with optimism and hope, knowing that their hardships will lead to personal growth and an expanded outlook on life.
Resilient people do not deny the pain or suffering they are experiencing; rather, they retain a sense of positivity that helps them overcome the negative effects of their situation. Positive emotions have a scientific purpose—to help the body recover from the ill effects of negative emotions. Thus cultivating positivity over time can help us become more resilient in the face of crisis or stress.